On Wm. Graham, Esq., Of Mossknowe
"Stop thief!" dame Nature call'd to Death, As Willy drew his latest breath; How shall I make a fool again? My choicest model thou hast ta'en.
On Seeing Mrs. Kemble In Yarico
Kemble, thou cur'st my unbelief For Moses and his rod; At Yarico's sweet nor of grief The rockwith tears had flow'd.
On John Bushby, Esq., Tinwald Downs
Here lies John Bushby-honest man, Cheat him, Devil-if you can!
On Hearing It Asserted Falsehood
That there is a falsehood in his looks, I must and will deny: They tell their Master is a knave, And sure they do not lie.
On A Swearing Coxcomb
Here cursing, swearing Burton lies, A buck, a beau, or"Dem my eyes!" Who in his life did little good, And his last words were "Dem my blood!"
On An Innkeeper Nicknamed “The Marquis”
Here lies a mock Marquis, whose titles were shamm'd, If ever he rise, it will be to be damn'd.
On Andrew Turner
In se'enteen hunder'n forty-nine, The deilgatstuff to maka swine, An' coostit in a corner; Butwilily he chang'd his plan, An' shap'd it something like a man, An'ca'd it Andrew Turner.
On Being Shewn A Beautiful Country Seat
We grant they're thine, those beauties all, So lovely in our eye; Keep them, thou eunuch, Cardoness, For others to enjoy!